we need to talk. I’m not sure how things have gotten out of hand but recently I feel like we’re just not on the same page anymore. When we first got acquainted I was fairly young I’ll admit, and it was pure bliss. Anytime I wanted to get out, do something fun, or add something new to my wardrobe you were there. Our relationship deepened and we began spending more time together. We’d spend a whole day together and couldn’t wait to see each other again the next day! I just couldn’t get over how good you made me feel. My confidence was growing and I felt like a new person. What’s more, my friends loved you too! We were all getting along so well and I didn’t want it to end. However, things started becoming more serious and I began to have doubts. How long was this going to go on for? What did I really hope to get out of this? No doubt, we had had our disagreements in the past – that striped blouse was not worth the money, that white belt was a let down and that plaid cotton skirt didn’t even last one winter season. I guess things changed my first year of university. With all of the changes going on in my life, I began to take stock of what was really important to me. Did I want to continue with this give-and-take (as in I would hand you money and you would take it) relationship? Or did I want something more meaningful? With my time focussed elsewhere, I began to wonder where we stood. Weekly visits turned into monthly ones and although you still tried to make it work (what with your television and billboard ads, platinum membership cards and ‘2 for 1’ deals) I wasn’t feeling the same connection we once shared. Even when we did get together, I was constantly disappointed; that baggy blue tank looked so much better when I tried it on at the mall; those faded blue jeans totally lost their form after washing them once. Was it over? I mean we did have some great times together. Remember the flare-leg jeans phase? And the tights binge of ‘09? When I look back now, those are the times I’ll remember. I am sorry it had to end like this but enough is enough. I know things have been rough for you with blame circulating for the recent crash of the economy and the on-going separation increase between the rich and the poor so let’s not make this any harder than it has to be. Listen, there’s no reason we can’t get together for the holidays and I’m sure well run into each other when I’m out with friends, but I think it’s best if we just spend some time apart. Look on the bright side, the Christmas season is here and then it’s new years and Valentine’s day! I’m sure you’ll be back on your feet in no time; you always have been very resilient.
P.s. I still hold the relationship you had with Victor Lebow against you.